Shot Off The Press
April 2007

* Bush rails about the "Lewinski-ization" of Washington, blaming Bill Clinton for "a culture of fornication."       (4-30-07)

* John McCain's first solo CD, "Beach Boy Republican," drops June 1st.        (4-30-07)

* The White House spins the 25% increase in global terrorism: "If we hadn't been fighting so hard, it might have been 50%."       (4-30-07)

* Viagra banned from Capitol       (4-30-07)

* Bush establishes Department of Homeland Sexcurity to deal with "DC Madam" scandal        (4-30-07)

* Bush causes sharp rise in global terror while seeking to defeat it       (4-30-07)

* President will veto Troops' funding bill on aircraft carrier deck       (4-30-07)

* I just installed "Terrorist Detectors" in every room of my house.       (4-30-07)

* The White House says it has evidence that scads of "Iraqaedans" are impersonating Mexicans and coming across the border to attack America: "Terrorists are picking our fruit and cleaning our homes!"       (4-30-07)

* Bush has the terrorists right where he wants 'em: EVERYWHERE.       (4-30-07)

* Bin Laden's threat to the President: "We will follow you home to America unless you stay here in Iraq."       (4-30-07)

* Iraq progress: General Patreaus says there's been less littering in Baghdad overall since the Surge began, not including suicide bombers.       (4-30-07)

* The President stands behind any embattled crony 1000%. He uses 'em like body armor.       (4-30-07)

* Bush has a much better chance of winning the Powerball than making a hint of progress in Iraq.       (4-30-07)

* Congratulations, Bush administration: no NEW scandals in the last 24 hours.       (4-30-07)

* VETO ACCOMPLISHED       (4-30-07)

* "Barney" resigns as White House Dog        (4-28-07)

* Whoever's caught in that DC prostitution mess out to be spanked.       (4-28-07)

* Just like Bill Clinton didn't inhale, Randall Tobias says he didn't impale.       (4-28-07)

* White House claims retired Army General who said Bush "seems to have gone AWOL" on Iraq has ties to Al Qaeda in Niger.       (4-28-07)

* DON'T BE FOOLED: more Troop deaths means the Surge is working.       (4-28-07)

* DON'T BE FOOLED: just because "successful" US funded Iraqi reconstruction projects are crumbling doesn't mean progress isn't being made.        (4-28-07)

* First rule of plumbing: "Cheney" runs downhill.       (4-28-07)

* Hoping to score points any way they can, the Bush administration begins touting "Abstinence Optional" sex ed program.        (4-28-07)

* Spotted in the Oval Office: a "Countdown to Retirement" calendar that the President secretly X's out each day.        (4-28-07)

* Well, Bush is partially right: he is carrying out the will of a few of the American people.       (4-27-07)

* Medal of Freedom winner, ex-CIA boss George Tenet blames Bush for ruining his love of basketball. Everytime he sees a slam dunk, he has to barf.       (4-27-07)

* Da, da, da...another one bites the dust..."       (4-27-07)

* The Bush administration is scaling back its expectations of the Surge and will not evaluate it's success unitl late November, 2008.       (4-27-07)

* I respectfully disagree with Senator George McGovern: I say the BUMS won't make it through '07.       (4-27-07)

* Jessica Lynch'ed the White House.       (4-27-07)

* Dear Bush Badministration: Pat Tillman didn't die for your sins. He died BECAUSE of them.       (4-27-07)

* Lies, scandals and corruption covered up by more lies, scandals and corruption. It's the Bush Way.       (4-27-07)

* Diqaeda Cheney       (4-27-07)

* A compassionate President offers soon-to-be-ex-Congressman Rick Renzi a job at the Bush Library just as soon they find the right abandoned warehouse.       (4-27-07)

* When even "Slam-Dunk" Tenet goes after the President and Vice President, you know things are amiss in Camelot.        (4-27-07)

* Ann Coulter takes Rosie's seat on The View       (4-26-07)

* The House has passed war-spending legislation to bring the Troops home. Now it's on to the Senate. Then it's on to the veto. So, Bush will be responsible for not funding the Troops. Perfect.       (4-25-07)

* Giuliani, the "FEARepublican Candidate," is playing right into terrorists' hands. He's hoping for another 9/11 to bolster his campaign.       (4-25-07)

* It's Opening Day of Subpoena Season: "Play Ball!"       (4-25-07)

* You've probably seen this a hundred times by now, but Bush actually looks like a human being for change.       (4-25-07)

* I hereby nominate Congressman Rick Renzi (R, AZ) to be "Thee Final Straw" to bring down the White House of Cards.       (4-25-07)

* Last time things got this outa' hand, we had a Revolution.   (I like McGovern's take.)    (4-25-07)

* That's so weird Cheney has blood clots. I didn't know ice water clotted.       (4-25-07)

* Hey, the Dow cracked 13000! What war?        (4-25-07)

* The late great David Halberstam (4/10/34-4/23/07): "I just never thought it [Iraq] was going to work at all. I thought that in both Vietnam and Iraq, we were going against history. My view, and I think it was because of Vietnam, was that the forces against us were going to be hostile, that we would not be viewed as liberators. We were going to punch our fist into the largest hornets' nest in the world."       (4-25-07)

* Replace the Regime: "We don't need no stinking Fascists."   (I like McGovern's take.)    (4-25-07)

* John McCain is running as the "Psychedelic Republican" candidate.       (4-25-07)

* The President and Vice President charge the Democrats with political opportunism. I charge those two schmucks with treason. Does that work?   (I like McGovern's take.)    (4-25-07)

* Astronomers have finally found a potentially habitable planet outside our solar system. ALL RIGHT, we can forget about the environment again!       (4-25-07)

* Bush's "Attack Dog" just did us all a great favor: he attacked George McGovern. Big mistake, Dick.       (4-24-07)

* Gore/McGovern '08        (4-24-07)

* I no longer smell impeachment. I smell resignation.       (4-24-07)

* The ghost of American Hero PAT TILLMAN is coming back to haunt the Bush administration. His courageous service to America deserves to be honored by a Tillman-style sacking of Bush, Cheney and Rove. Corporal Tillman is owed this lasting tribute, at the very least.       (4-24-07)

* The Bell Tolls for Thee, Mr. Bush.       (4-24-07)

* The noose is cinching so tightly around the White House that many say they know how Saddam must've felt.        (4-24-07)

* Congress' war-spending bill would actually set the GENERALS on the ground free. Just ask some GENERALS!       (4-24-07)

* Of course Bush rejects any timetable for ending the war. He knows it would also be a timetable for effectively ending his presidency.        (4-24-07)

* A timetable is just what the doctor ordered for Al-Maliki and Iraq. They'd understand, in no uncertain terms, they have to get their act together, and pronto.        (4-24-07)

* The President is so detached from public opinion, Congressional opinion, ANY opinion other than his own, he just puts his head down and barrels backward.       (4-24-07)

* Just another day in Limbaughtomy Land: "This guy (mass-murderer Cho) had to be a liberal."       (4-24-07)

* A nation is a terrible thing to waste.    (2 and counting...)    (4-23-07)

* Because of, not despite of, Gonzales' staggeringly poor Congressional performance, the President stands behind him all the more. Hey, just like the war.       (4-23-07)

* And...thinking back on it, Bush believes "Brownie" really did do a heckuva job.       (4-23-07)

* Al Gore and Barack Obama could rock this world, literally.        (4-23-07)

* Responding to Harry Reid that he's "in a state of denial," a testy President delivers the ultimate comeback: "I deny that state."        (4-23-07)

* Bush subtly implies that terrorists are the root cause of Global Warming. When pressed for an explanation, the President coyly replies: "You know what I'm talking about."       (4-23-07)

* Karl Rove getting all pissy with Sheryl Crow and Laurie David is a good reminder for us all: we're fighting the War on Terror, not Global Warming, damnit.       (4-23-07)

* Al-Maliki scolds the President: "Mr. Georgybush, tear down this wall!"       (4-22-07)

* EARTH DAY is the perfect time to imagine hearing this phrase:
"President Al Gore!"
It has much more than just a nice ring to it.   (Dedicated to Horace.)    (4-22-07)

* Rachel Carson throws "Silent Spring" of support toward Gore       (4-22-07)

  
"Have a Nice Day!"

* Oh I hate to gloat: NeoCONman Rick Renzi is under the FBI's electron microscope. Paybacks are a bitch, Rick.       (4-22-07)

"A Picture's Worth a Thousand Scandals"

* To celebrate Earth Day, I will go on a solo day-long journey to the woods in my untuned, catalytic converter-free diesel Hummer, tossing trash out the window as I finish my mini-mart snacks and malt liquor.       (4-22-07)

* Say, when's Global Warming Day ?       (4-21-07)

* Bush: "We'll make Baghdad a rat maze if we have to."   (Okay, Dubya didn't really say that, but you know he's thinkin' it.)    (4-21-07)

* "Fredo" is the new "Brownie."       (4-21-07)

* Cartographers begin displaying Iraq in red       (4-21-07)

* Bush sacrifices OUR Troops on a daily basis. Yet, when we criticize the war, that's disrespecting them. How much more disrespect can a person show than by having Troops return in coffins or to Walter Reed?        (4-21-07)

* Those trillions of war dollars could have really improved the planet. Instead, they're paying for a modern-day holocaust.        (4-21-07)

* George Washington never told a lie. George Bush never told the truth.       (4-21-07)

* Bush is right, you can not compare Iraq with Vietnam: Iraq has no jungles.       (4-21-07)

* John Wayne Bush still envisions a democratic Iraq capable of invading enemy nations just the way he did.       (4-21-07)

* We're making progress in Iraq just like we're making progress finding WMD and Osama.       (4-21-07)

* US plan for Baghdad Wall includes golf course and clubhouse       (4-21-07)

* John McCain has comedian's license revoked   (Thanks to Karl Azid of Rolling Stones, Inc.)    (4-20-07)

* I'm in a joyous Watergate kinda' mood.       (4-20-07)

* President Prevail says a pullout from Iraq would lead to a bloodbath. I suppose it's just a "messy little fracas" at this point? Thanks to Bush, the current bloodbath will worsen whether we leave now or later.       (4-20-07)

* DON'T GO, GONZO!!! (We need you on the job to help assure a Democratic landslide in '08.)       (4-20-07)

* My own Congressman, Rick Renzi (I certainly didn't vote for the "Republicrook"), just had his family business raided by the FBI. The investigation had been stalled because lead investigator, Arizona U.S. Attorney Paul Charlston, was fired by Alberto Gonzales for supposedly using "poor judgment." Maybe Renzi will be the "LAST STRAW" we've all been dreaming of.       (4-20-07)

* In a nutshell, the Bush administration is a shell full of whacked-out nuts.       (4-20-07)

* Considering his staunch stubbornness and refusal to give in, the President would have made a great soldier if he just hadn't gone AWOL.       (4-20-07)

* The GOP really has a point in blasting Harry Reid. He crossed the line bigtime by telling the truth, and it hurts like a sumbitch.       (4-20-07)

* Yeah, be careful not to ruin Troop morale by supporting an end to the war. I bet they'll dread having to come home.       (4-20-07)

* I would be remiss not to give a shout-out to Press Secretary Dana Perino. While she's much better to look at, she ranks right on down there with Scott McClellan. Could she be any less persuasive? I'm sure she's having a difficult time believing the cue cards.       (4-20-07)

* I adore the steely resolve of all the Bush-lovers. You know, the "we gotta fight 'em over there so we don't have to fight 'em over here" crowd. President Prevail had a chance to thwart 9/11, but he blew it. So, he blows it a million times worse by invading the WRONG country. You don't think it was a coincidence Bin Laden waited until Bush was in office to attack us, do you? Unfortunately, that guy's looking wiser by the minute.       (4-20-07)

* It appears we'll be leaving Iraq as soon as we win. Translation: never.       (4-20-07)

* Cheney uses the "it's all about the 'Q'" argument, citing the fact that both "Iraq" and "al Qaeda" have the letter "Q," thus cementing the link between Iraq and 9/11.       (4-20-07)

* The "Surge" should've been named the "Dirge."       (4-20-07)

* Alberto Gonzales is as believable as Ken Lay was.       (4-20-07)

* White House credibility is equal to or less than the progress being made in Baghdad.       (4-20-07)

* In Neoconville, anyone who attacks the war is immediately guilty of attacking the Troops. Now that's McCarthyism at its finest.       (4-20-07)

* You know damn well Bush, Cheney, Rove, Gates, Patraeus and Condi KNOW the war is lost and that the Surge is just a desperate delaying tactic to saddle the incoming Democratic administration with THEIR war. Finally, some transparency.       (4-20-07)

* Gates actually said this: "We have anticipated from the very beginning... that the insurgency and others would increase the violence to make the people of Iraq believe the plan is a failure. We intend to persist to show that it is not." The Defense Secretary just admitted the surge is a failure. (Deep down, he must know it's all over. Just givin' it the ol' college try for the "Surgemeister.")       (4-19-07)

* Sanjaya is gone. Can Alberto be far behind?       (4-19-07)

* Resurrect Don Imus, "The Nasty-Headed Host"       (4-19-07)

* When will we have the Flag at half-staff for the Iraq Massacre?       (4-19-07)

* More evidence that the Baghdad security plan is working: yesterday, 198 230 were blown to bits, thus far today, only 12 16.        (4-19-07)

* George W. Bush can be proud as punch for ushering in the era of suicide bombers. They couldn't have done it without him.        (4-19-07)

* I'm sure the new abortion ruling will have about as much effect as abstinence-only education.        (4-19-07)

* Gates is in Baghdad hoping to speed reconciliation. Meth does funny things to folks.        (4-19-07)

* Banished pastor, Ted Haggard, sends encouraging e-mail to embattled "Fredo."        (4-19-07)

* How many decades does "be patient with the Surge" mean?       (4-19-07)

* White House BL (Bush Logic): "We can offset troop fatalities by having fewer abortions. It's a slam-dunk!"       (4-18-07)

* Gotta say it again: ABORT BUSH!       (4-18-07)

* "Culture of Life" Bush is beaming over his anti-abortion victory. And, as he so confidently points out, "culture of life" only applies to the United States.       (4-18-07)

* Don't be fooled by escalating bloodshed in Baghdad. It's just the high price of freedom rearing its ugly head.       (4-18-07)

* We MUST curtail abortion. How else do you think we'll replenish the troops?       (4-18-07)

* What are the chances you could forcefully turn a Red Sox fan into a Yankee fan overnight? Too bad Bush didn't think of that before he invaded Iraq.       (4-18-07)

* Let's talk quality-of-life issues here: were Iraqis happier and thriving more under Saddam, or under Bush. It's not a trick question.       (4-18-07)

* Let's talk corpses: how many equal an Iraqi civil war? How many corpses does it take to equal a failed state? Oh hell, while we're at it, how many corpses does it take to change a light bulb? (answer: it doesn't matter. There isn't any electricity.)       (4-18-07)

* There is some good news: "Iraqi Idol" starts shooting (poor choice of words) next week.       (4-18-07)

* Robert Gates warns of the consequences should Iraq become a failed state. Let me help you out here, Jack: it IS a failed state.        (4-18-07)

* Gun control is for wimps. If everyone were forced to own a handgun and an assault rifle, we'd all be much safer.       (4-18-07)

* If we're patient enough to let the Surge work, there won't be many live Iraqis left in Baghdad.        (4-18-07)

* Guns don't kill people, it only seems that way.        (4-18-07)

* My heart is with the Hokies.        (4-16-17-07)

* Check out this superb excerpt from Lee Iacocca's new Book: Where Have All The Leaders Gone?    (Thanks, Horace.)    (4-17-07)

* Damn that al-Sadr: he's pulling 6 of his boys outa' the cabinet. What a Shiite-for-brains.        (4-16-07)

* Let us rejoice as we pay our taxes: they're being used to keep us safe, secure and broke.        (4-16-07)

* I hope they "Imus" Gonzales!       (4-16-07)

* "President" and "Bush" go together like "oxy" and "moron."        (4-14-07)

* Rove: "E-mails?! We ain't got no e-mails! We don't need no stinking e-mails!"       (4-14-07)

* Bush orders Constitution taken off display at National Archives until "things die down."       (4-14-07)

* If George Bush could spread freedom a tenth as good as he spreads corruption, he might have something.       (4-13-07)

* Daily scandals and the attempted coverups are great news for us all. They greatly increase the odds that the Bush administration will be hung out to dry and forced to resign. We might not even have to impeach the bastards!       (4-13-07)

* Four years of Karl Rove's e-mails are missing? If anyone can spin this thing and blame it on liberal webmasters, Karl can.       (4-13-07)

* The number of daily White House scandals pretty much equals the number of daily suicide bombings.       (4-13-07)

* Boy, Bush had a Don Imus kinda' day in Baghdad yesterday.        (4-13-07)

* Those damned terrorists had the audacity to blow up one of Baghdad's main bridges AND the parliament cafeteria in the Green Zone ON THE SAME DAY! Are they not yet grateful for all that America has bestowed upon their country?        (4-13-07)

* War architect and Bush-appointed President of the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz, becomes just another notch in Cheney's shotgun.       (4-12-07)

* I have just one thing to say about Don Imus' firing: Dubya, you're next.       (4-12-07)

* Deja Nixon: RNC e-mails are suspiciously missing just like Nixon's "18-minute gap." All right, bring on the coverup!        (4-12-07)

* Over 5 million missing White House e-mails plus missing RNC & Rove emails: do you need a bigger "Smoking Rove" than that?       (4-12-07)

* Kurt Vonnegut: Rest In Peace       (4-12-07)

* The Iraqi military is standing up so bravely that US Troop tours have been instantly increased to 15 months.        (4-12-07)

* Intelligence report places Bin Laden in vehicle with "Qaeda 1" vanity plate       (4-12-07)

* The Iraqi military is standing up so bravely that US Troop tours have been instantly increased to 15 months.        (4-12-07)

* If the solution for Iraq is political, which even Patraeus believes, why do we keep sending in more Troops for longer tours? What a bunch a' "BL" (Bush Logic).       (4-12-07)

* Iraqi military recruitment pitch: "Work Whenever You Want, Kill Whoever You want, 70 Virgins Awaiting"       (4-12-07)

* "Johnny Mac" McCain is still so convinced of Baghdad's safety, he says he's willing to walk through the Green Zone, despite today's suicide bombing, with only 50 heavily armed soldiers instead of a hundred.       (4-12-07)

* Michael Dukakis makes a conciliatory call to John McCain: "Give it up, Senator."        (4-12-07)

* The National Guard: "No more one-weekend-a-month duty"       (4-12-07)

* Enjoy.   (Thanks to FREEWAYBLOGGER.)    (4-11-07)

* "The very fundamental issue is, they don't know where the hell they're going" (retired Marine Gen. John J. "Jack" Sheehan, a former top NATO commander who was among those rejecting the job.): Bush secretly looking for "War Czar." Thus far, there are no takers.        (4-11-07)

* The Bush gift that keeps on giving: Welcome the "Tour of Duty Surge!"       (4-11-07)

* Coming to a bumper near you: Imus be a bigot   (Idea from Karl Azid of Rolling Stones, Inc.)    (4-11-07)

* Proposed Talking Points for The Bush Legacy Committee: The Constitution , Bill of Rights , Civil Rights , Trust , Mandate , Will of the People , Bipartisanship , Credibility , Safety , Intelligence , Security , Prosperity , Number One Superpower , Diplomacy , Democracy , Freedom , Stem Cell Research , Health Care , Immigration Reform , Social Security Reform , Support Our Troops: Bring 'Em Home , Geneva Conventions , Lower Greenhouse Gases to Combat Global Warming , Moral Values , Ethics , Dignity , Compassion , Corruption, Lawlessness, Treason, Betrayal, Scandals Galore, Despair, Katrina Disaster, Fear, Terrorism, Death, Destruction, Environmental Havoc, Murder, Hooliganism, Cronyism, Deceit, Lost Congress, anti-American last-gasp vetoes, Environmental Rape, Imperialism, Greed, Arrogance, Lies, Torture, Secrecy, Graft, Conspiracy to Defraud and Deceive, Big Oil, Big Pharmaceutical, Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Terri Schiavo Debacle, Outed Valerie Plame, New Way Forward Surge, Embezzlement, Halliburton, Kickbacks, Tax Cuts for the Richest of the Rich, Bribery, Commingling of Church and State, Thievery, Medicare Prescription Drug Program, Infinite Debt...       (4-11-07)

* The Georgesus Warmonger Bush motto: "Boy, it's lonely at the bottom."       (4-11-07)

* If you want Baghdad to be like America, you provide "gated communities" just like America: brilliant war strategist, George W. Bush, has a new plan that will finally bring those long sought-after rose petals.       (4-11-07)

* Look how well the Surge is working!       (4-11-07)

* While I'm no fan of Imus, how does that compare to the bigotry faced by Katrina victims deserted by the Bush administration?       (4-11-07)

* Birkhead's Dannielynn's daddy! We get a day off, don't we?       (4-10-07)

* THE PEOPLE want an end to the war now. THE PEOPLE want embryonic stem cell research now. More than enough reason for Bush to vehemently oppose both.       (4-10-07)

* While he's off the air, Imus will pursue his brand-new business: "Nappy-Headed Hose and Garden Supply"       (4-10-07)

* Rush, O'Reilly, Beck, Hannity and Coulter make Imus look like Snow White. Why are THOSE bigots still on the air?       (4-10-07)

* More consistency from Saint Georgesus: he denies the will of The People in Iraq just like he does in America.       (4-10-07)

* Rep. Henry Waxman of CA is the White House's worst nightmare. At the moment, he's after Condi.       (4-10-07)

* The Bush administration firmly supports Separation of People and State.       (4-10-07)

* Here's more good news: 150 graduates of Pat Robertson's Regent University School of Law have been hired by the Bush administration since 2001, including newly departed Gonzales aide, Monica Goodling.       (4-10-07)

* Don Imus is a nappy-headed hooligan.       (4-10-07)

* Iran's Ahmadinejad mocks Bush with new State banner: "Fission Accomplished!"       (4-9-07)

* Dear White House: do not read this, or this. It could slaughter morale.       (4-9-07)

* Well Medal-of-Freedom-me, how many times has a nation lost a war which it has claimed it's already won?        (4-9-07)

* Wow, 4 years since "We have prevailed." Oh I hope the President dresses up in that cute little badass flight suit again.       (4-9-07)

* Congratulations on the fourth anniversary of the fall of Baghdad, Bush administration. You certainly have REAPED what you have SOWED.       (4-9-07)

* Ducks don't come any lamer: friends worry President may be headed for "Bumduck, Egypt"       (4-8-07)

* Bush challenges scientific community to develop "glacier-maker" to thwart Global Warming: "We can make snow. Why can't we make glaciers?!"       (4-8-07)

* On the very day the last season of "The Sopranos" begins, wouldn't ya know it that Bush, Rudy, & Fredo's boy for heading Homeland Security, Bernard Kerik, is up to his ass in mob ties and a zillion other allegations? Bada Bing, Bada Bernie.       (4-8-07)

* The Pope says "nothing positive" is happening in Iraq. Doesn't he know freedom when he sees it?       (4-8-07)

* Suspicious rabbit with basket of eggs trapped near White House; Threat Level raised to Red-SEVERE       (4-8-07)

* Well, the President's back in Crawford again. Maybe Pelosi and Murtha can sneak into the White House and change all the locks.       (4-8-07)

* In case you're wondering, I'm saving up all my SeriousKidding.com donations to take a $25-million-dollar spaceflight.       (4-7-07)

* Bush is criticizing the Democrats for making it hard to continue his personal war. Impeachment's too good for this bastard, Rove and Cheney. A life stint in Abu Ghraib's more like it.    (Thanks to Karl Azid of Rolling Stones, Inc. for the inspiration.)    (4-7-07)

* White House foreign policy has pretty much come down to this: "We're the United States and you're not."       (4-7-07)

* Cheney to give Romney hunting lessons       (4-7-07)

* Leave it to liberal scientists to scare the bejabbers out of us with a Global Warming hoax. (Most of these scientists are liberals, right?)       (4-7-07)

* Water will soon replace gold as the new monetary standard.       (4-7-07)

* Bad News: scientists predict a Dust Bowl for the Southwest. Good news: maybe it'll produce another Woody Guthrie.       (4-7-07)

* 117 people, and dwindling, believe Dick Cheney.       (4-6-07)

* Phuque you, Dick Cheney.       (4-6-07)

* An even more sinister terror organization comes to light: Al-Dubya       (4-6-07)

* As George Warmonger Bush enters the last throes of his presidency, maybe the Vice President can greet him as a liberator and throw rose petals at his feet to perk him up.       (4-6-07)

* Mitt Romney, much like Davy Crockett, kilt him a bar when he was only three.       (4-6-07)

* Why should I worry about Global Warming? I live in a place that isn't affected: Washington D.C.       (4-6-07)

* Cheney has the audacity to call Pelosi's trip "bad behavior?" Thank you, Satan.       (4-5-07)

* Bush lauds Idol's Sanjaya as an example of what Native Americans can do when given the chance.       (4-5-07)

* Here's a beauty: the President back-doors a big "Swift Boat Vets for Truth" donor as ambassador to Belgium. His last name is "FOX!"       (4-5-07)

* No amount of "Rovanizing" is going to right this Buship.       (4-5-07)

* But, Obama has hardly any experience! THANK GOD!       (4-5-07)

* At ultra-conservative Brigham Young University, some students and faculty are protesting Dick Cheney coming to be the commencement speaker. Throwing caution to the wind, they swilled coffee as a show of indignation.       (4-5-07)

* That Stones funnyman, Keith Richards, was only joking. He didn't snort his father's ashes. He smoked them.       (4-5-07)

* Bush will make one final flyover before declaring Katrina Disaster "ended"       (4-5-07)

* If retained, "Fredo" promises to bone up on Constitution       (4-5-07)

* Bush on the British hostage release: "How'd they do that?!"       (4-5-07)

* Wow, it just occurred to me: if Barack Obama ends up becoming President, he'll be the first man with a conscience to hold that office this century!!!       (4-4-07)

* Everyone and everything is deserting the President, except his sanity, which he never had in the first place.       (4-4-07)

* Keith Richards snorted his father's ashes. So what? It's not like he up and invaded a country in the Middle East.       (4-4-07)

* PMD: President of Mass Destruction (aka "DubyaMD")        (4-3-07)

* I smell a Rove: "stall the war until we can blame it on a Democratic administration."        (4-3-07)

* "Veto Bushleone" is making the Mob look good.        (4-3-07)

* Can't ya just picture Saddam, Hitler, Bush, Cheney and Rove sittin' around the fire down below drinkin' shots, smokin' cigarettes and lookin' at porn?       (4-3-07)

* The Surge has been good for inSURGEnt business.       (4-3-07)

* Since McCain is so hell-bent, he ought to work on changing the age limit for military enlistment so he can re-enlist. I'd love to see him on the battlefield again.       (4-2-07)

* In a continuing tsunami of rebukes, the Supreme Court forces the Bush administration to take a fresh look at regulating carbon dioxide emissions from cars. This POOR President just can't catch a break.       (4-2-07)

* If things are so danged safe in Baghdad, why doesn't "Johnny Mac" put up a campaign headquarters there?       (4-2-07)

* Even though it's April 2, it's still April Fools' at the White House.       (4-2-07)



"I own you, 'Sweetcakes!'"



* George Bush Wins War!!!       (4-1-07)

* Welcome to the "Age of Obamania"       (4-1-07)

* Ya know what's not fair? The Surge getting blamed for pushing suicide bombers out of Baghdad into other cities. Jiminy Christmas, who could have predicted that?!       (4-1-07)

* Over 500 killed this week, and many more wounded. Then, Bush inner-circle strategist, Matthew Dowd, says "Kerry was right." Dowd has lost faith in the President saying Barack Obama is the only candidate that appeals to him. That's gotta burn Dubya worse than habaneros in his cycling shorts.       (4-1-07)

* It's just too cliche to say April Fools' Day is all about Bush... yada...yada...yada. It's all about Cheney & Rove, too.       (4-1-07)

* Good to see the testosterone, Viagra and B12 injections finally kicking in for the Democrats.       (4-1-07)

* In this case, Bush's veto pen is not mightier than the Democrats' sword.       (4-1-07)

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