Grant William "Brad" Gerver writes. Period. Breathing life into his words is longtime Brother, graphic artist, designer, illustrator and fellow writer, Larry "Monte' " Monteverde. Without him, nobody would know I/we exist.
Brad is a longtime published cartoon strip writer/creator specializing in left-wing political humor,
political satire, the non-political, and bumper sticker writing. He's also an accomplished product naming consultant
and avid songwriter (Blue Condor Music/BMI). Off-the-wall, irreverent comedy is a guiding principle.
"Brad" is also a very active performing blues artist
with The Buzzard Brothers.
Grant's forte is humorous one-liners
and all-around terse-verse writing. He is featured on many websites,
including the wicked All Hat No Cattle.
The former radio announcer, children's author, and
retired elementary school teacher excels at writing all things short, sweet, and
to-the-point. If you must pick one word to describe him, it would have to be "prolific."
"Where
creativity and originality
meet punctuality and good grammar."
"I
visit SeriousKidding.com daily. Grant is truly
the master of his domain." ~
George Costanza
Copyright 2019 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All
Rights Reserved. The content of this political humor site is owned
exclusively by
Grant "Brad" Gerver of SeriousKidding.com. Reproduction of
political verses, bumper stickers, or any other content is expressly
prohibited unless prior permission is granted. (All it takes is an email:
seriouskidding@gmail.com)
Shot Off The Press:Latest Lines ~ Always Unfair and Biased. Always. ~ "I believe in Bush, Cheney, Rove, Wolfowitz and The Tooth Fairy." --my Dad, Spike Gerver, 6-24-2005
Dear Karma: The door is always open and we'll leave the light on for ya.
1-5-2020
It might be time to cut the hate for at least a day. I have the patience of George Costanza when he tried to free the zipper on his Gore-Tex jacket at the psychiatrist's office.
1-5-2020
GOONS GONE WILD! Republigoons go rogue, believe they are above the law, THE CONGRESS and THE CONSTITUTION: TRAITORS ALL.
What's the deal? Some great government of the people, by the people and for the people, huh? Hash-pipe dreaming. Republicans are the worst and poorest excuse for "Americans."
Billionaires are wailing that wealth tax proposals by Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders are attacks on free-market capitalism. Warren “vilifies successful people”, says Jamie Dimon, chief executive of JPMorgan Chase.
Rubbish. There are basically only five ways to accumulate a billion dollars, and none of them has to do with being successful in a genuinely free market: Profiting from a monopoly, insider-trading, political payoffs, fraud and large amounts of inherited wealth.
Jamie Dimon is worth $1.6 billion. That's not because he succeeded under free-market capitalism. In 2008, the government bailed out JP Morgan and four other giant Wall Street banks because it considered them "too big to fail".
That bailout is a hidden insurance policy, still in effect, with an estimated value to the big banks of $83 billion a year. If JP Morgan weren’t so big and was therefore allowed to fail, Dimon would be worth far less than $1.6 billion.
Insider trading is endemic in C-suites, too. SEC researchers have found that corporate executives are twice as likely to sell their stock on the days following their own stock buyback announcements as they are in the days leading up to the announcements.
Another way to make a billion is to buy off politicians.
The Trump tax cut is estimated to save Charles and the late David Koch and their Koch Industries an estimated $1 billion to $1.4 billion a year, not counting their tax savings on profits stored offshore and a shrunken estate tax. The Kochs and their affiliated groups spent some $20 million lobbying for the Trump tax cut, including political donations. Not a bad return on investment.
Other billionaires have made their fortunes extorting investors. Adam Neumann persuaded JP Morgan, SoftBank and other investors to sink hundreds of millions into WeWork, an office-sharing startup. He used some of the money to buy buildings he leased back to WeWork and to enjoy a lifestyle that included a $60 million private jet. WeWork never made a nickel of profit.
The easiest way to be a billionaire is to get the money from rich parents or relatives. About 60% of all the wealth in America today is inherited, according to estimates by economist Thomas Piketty and his colleagues.
Capitalism doesn't work well with monopolies, insider-trading, political payoffs, fraud and large amounts of inherited wealth. Billionaires who don't like Sanders and Warren's wealth tax plans should at least support reforms that end these anti-capitalist advantages.
Only the most vile, murdering, swindling, cowardly buffoons are above the law. Why is that again?
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-20-2019
REPUBLICAN mega-millionaires and billionaires have wrecked this country and killed off the Constitution at absolutely any and all costs: YOU let this clusterTRUMPING-TRUMPstorm happen on YOUR watch, at OUR expense, as always. Democracy: EPIC FAIL.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-20-2019
R.E.S.I.G.N. you "World-Raping Dunderhead."
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-20-2019
How in the fucking hell can you NOT indict a sitting president?!! Look what this has wrought. Bob Mueller, you've been far less-than-a-limp noodle for The American People. It's in the same category as diplomatic immunity: kill people, then run home safe, sound and smiling.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-20-2019
"Okay, Doral is out. Mar-a-Lago IN!" Just kidding. Why not hold the G-7 in Istanbul at the site of Jamal Khashoggi's murder, dismemberment and dissolving? There's plenty of room in the Saudi consulate there.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-20-2019
Fundraising Brilliance: Trump will grab pussies for $1000 a pop, selfies of event: $10,000, videos: $25,000.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-19-2019
How I long for the good ol' days when treason was illegal.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-19-2019
How is all this remotely okay?
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-19-2019
The Lyingest Liar in American History: Once a traitor, always a traitor. The one and only patriotic option you have left in your life, don: RESIGN. Then "get over it" and prepare for court.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-18-2019
The term "mulligan" in golf has been replaced by "Mulvaney." Walk that back, Mick-Bitch. So long, Don. "GET OVER IT!"
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 10-18-2019
The Baltimore Sun Editorial Board: "Finally, while we would not sink to name-calling in the Trumpian manner - or ruefully point out that he failed to spell the congressman's name correctly (it's Cummings, not Cumming) - we would tell the most dishonest man to ever occupy the Oval Office, the mocker of war heroes, the gleeful grabber of women's private parts, the serial bankrupter of businesses, the useful idiot of Vladimir Putin and the guy who insisted there are 'good people' among murderous neo-Nazis that he's still not fooling most Americans into believing he's even slightly competent in his current post. Or that he possesses a scintilla of integrity. Better to have some vermin living in your neighborhood than to be one." -- Baltimore Sun Editorial Board
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 7-28-2019
My latest tune really does explain our dilemma.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-2-2019
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-21-2019
URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT cc: UNIVERSE, WORLD, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Donald J. Trump will not be on the 2020 ballot due to immense, savage, decades-long corruption. He will be serving life without parole instead.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-20-2019
CNN aired Erin Burnett's "The Trump Family Business" last night. Denture-Dropping!! You'll just have to watch for it because it's not widely available today as far as I can see. Just keep it on the front burner. It's 1 hour in length including commercials. Stupendous interview with Jake Tapper and Erin Burnett.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-18-2019
(HuffPost) Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) will not participate in a town hall on Fox News, saying Tuesday that she turned down an invite to go on the conservative network.
"Fox News is a hate-for-profit racket that gives a megaphone to racists and conspiracists - it's designed to turn us against each other, risking life & death consequences, to provide cover for the corruption that's rotting our government and hollowing out our middle class," Warren wrote in a series of tweets.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-14-2019
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-14-2019
Trump signs executive order to appropriate funds for statue of his likeness to be installed next to Statue of Liberty.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-14-2019
We have been reduced to "LIVING LIFE LIVIDLY."
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-13-2019
We are suffering from Governmental Necrotizing Fasciitis (aka Governmental flesh-eating disease), and it's spreading at WARP speed.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-13-2019
Donald: Epic China Fail, dude.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-13-2019
"Best words, best deals." Thanks for "The Great American Cluster*uck," Don.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-13-2019
As of NOW, I am throwing my support behind Senator Elizabeth Warren simply because "She has a PLAN for THAT!" I am going at this moment to put my money where my mouth is.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-12-2019
Good News!! Good News!! No there's not!! No there's not!!
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-12-2019
Global Tweet-Stink® stench covers the entire globe. It has been traced to the sphincter of one man living in The White House.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-11-2019
LEAKED: Trump is even embarrassing his dictator buddies as KKK, neo-Nazi groups cut ties.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-11-2019
Deck shuffled: Stephen Miller replaces Mike Pence, Giuliani joins custodial staff.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-11-2019
The #1 clue that Trump is so FUBAR: no dog.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-10-2019
Remember: Cages are for Trumps, not immigrant or any other children.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-10-2019
According to him, Trump lost $1.17 billion on purpose. He did it for the deductions. Oh really? He's an insult even to Republicans. Oh, and jackals and hyenas and portable toilets.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-9-2019
Outlaw Republicans. They're the main problem. Then, YOU Democrats better take notice.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-9-2019
A brief "G-rant": Mirrors are not made for Republicans. How anyone could be so mean-spirited and against the common good of The People of The USA and the WORLD is nearly impossible to imagine. What is wrong with you people? An (R) by your name is the symbol for all-out greediness, selfishness, needless pain-infliction, hurting the poor and downtrodden and everyone in-between. What the hell is wrong with you people? I can tell you this with certainty: you certainly are going to hell.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-8-2019
The Constitution, OUR CONSTITUTION, is rabid from the vile vulgar vermin who have so maliciously raped it.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-8-2019
Nature, mass extinction and the environment: they ain't nuthin', long's the money's rollin' in.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-6-2019
700+ Former Federal Prosecutors can't all be wrong: IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5/6-7-8/2019
What if we had a really really great President that made this world a much much better place, the likes of which the world had never seen before? (oops, ate a pot brownie during beer 5)
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-6-2019
Slapstick experiment: Let's see if a nation's collective thoughts and prayers for Trump to step on a rake actually work.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-4-2019
Treuthanize the GOP.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-4-2019
I hereby officially announce my Democratic candidacy for President Of The United States right here on Seriouskidding.com
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-4-2019
T-POTUS: Traitor-President Of The United States, "T-Pot" for short.
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-4-2019
The Dishonorable Bill Barr, United States Attorney Venereal
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-4-2019
Give this Nation back to its PEOPLE. Or, must we take it back? Simple as that. Throw the bums out.
(IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-1-2019)
Obstruction of Justice Department General Barrf: RESIGN, you UNAMERICAN SLIMEBALL. Take trump and all your other top clients with you. You've certainly never represented the The American People as was your Constitutional duty.
(IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON. 5-1-2019)
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON.
(4-30-2019)
My #1 Democratic Presidential Pick* by Grant Brad Gerver, "Jack of All Tirades," Self-Proclaimed Political Expert with the undisputed credibility to match, C+ collegiate grade point average, B.A. in Political Science from the University of California, Santa Barbara, Class of '72 (diploma machine-signed by Governor Ronald Reagan):
#1 ~ Any Democrat who can slaughter President Psychopath.
*subject to change
(4-30-2019)
*
The World's Most Violent Terrorist is in our midst and he's the President: "The baby is born, the mother meets with the doctor, they take care of the baby, they wrap the baby beautifully. Then the doctor and mother determine whether or not they will execute the baby." ~ Trump at Wisconsin Rally
(4-30-2019)
Disregarding all House subpoenas is Obstruction Of Justice in plain sight. Don't be shy. Handcuffs and prison are the simple antidotes.
(4-28-2019)
IMPEACH. CONVICT. IMPRISON.
(4-27-2019)
*"Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my presidency. I'm fucked." It is and you are.
(4-19-2019)
*
The mega wealthy are sending huge dough to rebuild Notre Dame. You know, just like they do for all the poorest people.
(4-16-2019)
*
Go ahead, Mayor Pete, shock the world. See if I care.
(4-16-2019)
*Sarah Sanders, you are the epitome of...Never mind, you're beneath mocking.
(4-16-2019)
*
The end is near, fake oligarch trump. If we can produce a picture of a Black Hole, we can produce a grand picture of your ouster.
(4-16-2019)
*
Trump sends cargo ship full of religious-themed paper towels to Paris.
(4-16-2019)
*
"Trickle-Down Economics has been a cruel joke."-Robert Reich
Facts & Truth are thee complete and utter killers. Here are 12 myths they slay. C'mon all you rich bastards. This would help YOU, TOO.
(4-16-2019)
M87* and Chandra X-ray image of M87 galaxy. (EHT Collaboration; NASA/CXC/Villanova University/J. Neilsen)
*
Black Hole Heroine: Dr. Katie Bouman designed an algorithm that made the image possible.
(4-13-2019)
*
Trump incensed that first-ever-since-the-beginning-of-time Black Hole Photo is taking massive attention away from him; tries to take credit for monumentally EPIC DISCOVERY
(4-13-2019)
*
2 Cloned Clowns: President Donald J. Trump & General George Armstrong Custer.
(4-8-2019)
*
Cage 45 and throw away the key! Separate him from his USA family. MAGA that!
(4-8-2019)
47,000 separated migrant children: #45 MUST R*E*S*I*G*N*!*!*!
(4-7-2019)
*
The fact that Maggot45 is so petrified of his taxes being made public is proof positive of what we already know about him: he's a scaredy-cat wuss and serial-lying bully. It will ALL come back to haunt you, sonny boy. Your henchmen and henchwomen know it, too.
(4-7-2019)
*
Audit-shmaudit. Listen here son, something is gonna get you. Something is gonna bring you down like a Boeing 737 Max. You really are the ultimate idiot if you think your lies are fooling anybody besides the Sarah Sanders' posse.
(4-5-2019)
*
Of all the unspeakable evil done by Al Capone, that's not what got his ass, Don. It was the IRS. He didn't pay his taxes just like you. I can't wait. I patriotically salivate at the thought. I bet SDNY does too, pal.
(4-5-2019)
*
What do Trump and Boeing have in common? E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
(4-5-2019)
*
Trump should migrate back to his father's fake homeland, Germany. Leave us the hell alone, Border Boy. I am sure Mexico would pay for it.
(4-5-2019)
*
Flesh lump and faux AG, Bill Barr is a disgrace to democracy and pizza lovers everywhere.
(4-5-2019)
*
Serial Liar Donald J. Trump is synonymous with gangrenous pus. (Yes, I know it rhymes.)
(4-4-2019)
*
"Equal rights for others does not mean less rights for you. It's not pie." (Seen on a bumper sticker yesterday.)
(4-3-2019)
*
Shit, Helen, he can't even say "origins!" All he can say is "oranges." He even thought his father, Fred, was born in "a very nice part of Germany" when he was actually born in New York City. Gutter-level intellect.
(4-3-2019)
*
You couldn't trust Sarah Sanders to babysit your guppies.
(4-3-2019)
*
Here's hoping for a miracle of your choosing, everyone.
(4-2-2019)
*
Dear Sirs and Madams: colonoscopy with that Brexit?
(4-2-2019)
*
Please address all heretofore "White House" correspondence to "The Maggotorium," 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500.
(4-1-2019)
*
How can YOU: FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, CONGRESS, FBI, CIA, MILITARY, the COURTS, ET AL allow this TREASONOUS CORRUPTION to continue unabated in OUR USA? I hope like motherfucking hell it doesn't mean what I think it means. Other than that, have a nice roll of paper towels on me.
(4-1-2019)
*
Trump's brand spankin' new health care replacement plan: low-cost supplements and OTC drugs made in China under the TRUMP label and sold competitively to all Americans. (Rx drugs not included.)
(4-1-2019)
*"Come getcha' security clearences he-ah. Top security clearances on the cheap. Get 'em while they're notoriously easy he-ah. No requiahments, no papeh-woik. FELONS WELCOME."
(4-1-2019)
*
Democracy is Drowning and Decomposing in The Donald's Swamp.
(4-1-2019)
POWERFUL WOMEN coming to the front...where they belong. AOC: "Let's debate, not debase," she said to a heckler of former Republican Congressman Bob Inglis. "Hey, hey, hey, hey that's unacceptable," she said. "And that's the difference between me and Trump," she added to Inglis.
(Sorry for being a debaser myself, AOC.) (3-30-2019)
Forget about any political race. Donald J. "Paper-Towels-for-Disaster-Relief" Trump is just plain bad for the HUMAN RACE...and thus, the Planet on which it is failing to thrive.
(3-30-2019)
There is only ONE man I think of when I see a dead rat covered in maggots. Such a jarring resemblance. It requires no guessing.
(3-30-2019)
Share-A-Meme.com
(3-29-2019)
Adam Schiff: Bad-ASS!
(3-28-2019)
Donald, oh how I wish you were pre-existing.
(3-28-2019)
We are are nearly identical to Britain. They have Brexit and we have the Brexit of Presidents.
(3-28-2019)
When a man with orange hair and an ego the size of Mars purposely inflicts as much pain and torture on The People he is "supposed" to be serving just for the sole reason of "because I can," well sir, that man shall surely put Humpty Dumpty to shame.
(3-27-2019)
Don't worry, folks. When the dust settles, we shall be released.
(3-26-2019)
"The Deficit Don," Donald J. "DumbleDEBT": pure and unadulterated fakey fucky financial hoaxery at its very finest! Nobody's done it better than Don Covfefe. Ain't no world seen the likes of this before.
(3-24-2019)
Share-A-Meme.com (3-24-2019)
The President boasts a complete understanding of quantum computers. Next question.
(3-24-2019)
The Powerball jackpot is $750,000,000! You should buy a lotto tickets.
(3-24-2019)
The entire Mueller Report is released today or The President must resign immediately. I choose the latter.
(3-24-2019)
Trump claims bone spurs still give him fits and the x-rays were stolen years ago.
(3-21-2019)
I think trump may have just done himself in. The latest tirade is the last straw: GOODBYE President Don Gone. Senator McCain will have your ass on a silver patter from the grave.
(3-21-2019)
Dear President Bone Spur: The Family, Friends and Fans of The Late Honorable and Revered War Hero, Senator John McCain will make certain that you are soundly defeated at every turn. You've just guaranteed it. On behalf of all who despise you: THANK YOU.
(3-20-2019)
Karen Keskulla Uhlenbeck, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin, made history on Tuesday. The Professor Becomes the First Woman To Be Awarded Math's Top Prize.
(3-20-2019)
Conway vs. Trump: Giddy like a warm puppy, Kona coffee and molten chocolate lava cake.
(3-19-2019)
(3-19-2019)
"Innocent people are now being slaughtered, families ruined and childrens' lives destroyed. All in his name. If the Craven Republican Senate allows this vile miscreant to continue encouraging devisiveness, the 'Trump Presidency' will become an EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT." ~ Text and Jim Carrey Art Copyright 2019 by Jim Carrey (from Twitter). All Rights Reserved.
*
president donald j. trump is NOT a white supremacist. How many times do we haveta tellya? He is a hitlerian supremacist.
(3-17-2019)
*Planet Earth fading fast.
"A three-year UN-backed study from the Intergovernmental Science-Policy Platform On Biodiversity and Ecosystem Services has grim implications for the future of humanity." ~ John Vidal, HuffPost
(3-16-2019)
*
"I actually think that the people on the right are tougher, but they don't play it tougher. Okay? I can tell you I have the support of the police, the support of the military, the support of the Bikers for Trump - I have the tough people, but they don't play it tough - until they go to a certain point, and then it would be very bad, very bad."
(3-16-2019)
*
The World Is A Cauldron Of Upheaval ~ original blues rock song
(3-15-2019)
*
Today is Albert Einstein's birthday and Pi Day. (Not for the White House, but everywhere else. It's too "sciency.")
(3.14 2019)
*
Don, I fear you're going down. Have a Manafort day, Bucko.
(3.14 2019)
*
Today, Paul Manafort truly learned the spoils that a long-time association with Donald J. Trump can bring.
(3-13-2019)
*
I can't think of a more appropriate nickname for The president than "BOMB CYCLONE." To him, a bomb cyclone is likely even more proof that global warming is a fake, a hoax and a witch hunt.
(3-13-2019)
*
If the media and the press are The Enemy of the People, what does that make you, Donald J. "Bomb Cyclone" Trump? That's a borrowed phrase from NAZI Germany and Soviet Russia used against The Jews. But, you already knew that, I am sure. (And FOX isn't?!!!)
(3-13-2019)
*
Way to keep a stiff upper brain, all you Brits: Brexit=Fuxit. David Cameron, you have given your country thee ultimate fecal sandwich as a permanent reminder of your brilliant idea to have a referendum in the first place. Smashing.
(3-13-2019)
*
How'd ya do on your aCHEATment test?
(3-13-2019)
*
Now JARED is in the crosshairs about getting bribed into Harvard?! Now that I think about it, how'd George W. Bush get into Yale and Harvard? Moving on from the second worst president in history to the first, what about the current imbecile? Good to know all the particulars.
(3-13-2019)
*
The World Is Letting Us Down
(3-12-2019)
*
Glad you're not a Jew-hating Democrat, Don. You're more like a Narcissistic Alarming Zany Individual.
(3-11-2019)
*
You wonder which trump TAX RETURNS they'll read first: his personal or his business tax evasions?
(3-11-2019)
*
For the life of me, when you've got "THEE Undisputed 'Very Stable Genius' of Dealmaking" running the world, how can he not find it in his infinite powers to negotiate those poor Brits outa' their Brexit shitstorm?
(3-11-2019)
*
Dear Don Dunce: Pardner, they just don't come any duncier.
(3-11-2019)
*
Maybe the world could use a good Asteroidal Spring Cleaning. Have plenty of "PREPARATION A" handy just in case.
(3-8-2019)
*
You know a certain orange person is praying for an asteroid strike to obliterate any effort to expose his tax returns. Let's call him Donald Apple.
(3-8-2019)
*
Paper Clip Prayers ~ Take 2:2
(3-6-2019)
*
"We MUST Reinvigorate DEMOCRACY!" ~ American Genius, Robert Reich
(3-5-2019)
*
We regret to inform YOU that The House Judiciary Committee is coming for YOU, the likes of which the world has never seen before. This not a fake warning. It's not a hoax. And, it's surely no witch hunt. The good news: IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU!!
(3-4-2019)
*
Sarah Sanders claims intense bone-spur heel pain caused the President not to score well on his SAT's and to underperform on other evaluative assessments. "Alternative Facts Maven," Kellyanne Conway, concurs.
(3-3-2019)
*
Weis-sel-berg, Weis-sel-berg, we want Allen Weisselberg! Time to rat on THAT RAT TRUMP: "He knows of every dime that leaves the building." ~ Corey Lewandowski
(3-2-2019)
*
Compared to "Magott 45," Cohen is as credible as the last 2+ years are long.
(3-2-2019)
*
"Maggot 45" bows down to ruthless dictators while kneeling on Americans.
(3-2-2019)
*In Memory of Otto Warmbier and Jamal Khashoggi: May each sheet of paper from the President's subpoenaed tax returns inflict a painful cut on "Magott 45's" body.
(3-1-2019)
*
We now have the term "INFLATEGATE" to go along with "DEFLATEGATE." Trump did both with his asset values. And, he loves Robert Kraft, Tom Brady and The Patriots. High irony!
(3-1-2019)
*
"Racist" & "Republican" roll right off the tongue like they were meant for each other. And, they are.
(3-1-2019)
*
Republiclowns: Bozos Against Democracy
(2-28-2019)
*
"He is a racist. He is a conman. He is a cheat." The perfect definition of a Republican.
(2-28-2019)
*
One can only hope Cardinals Pell and McCarrick pay frequent visits to Trump and Company in prison.
(2-28-2019)
*
Kim, Trump split sheets; lovers no more.
(2-28-2019)
*
Don, sorry about you losing the Nobel nomination, but "No soup for you" and "Cancel that mead!"
(2-28-2019)
*
Michael "Tip Of The Iceberg" Cohen fixes Trump with a YUGE assist:
(2-27-2019)
*
Michael Cohen's opening statement: LOCK T-RUMP UP!!
(2-27-2019)
*
Get Real NOW, AMERICA!! YOU deserve THIS.
(2-26-2019)
*
"America will never be a socialist country!" ~The Fake President~
That's because he wants it to become a Communist Country. Just look at who he hangs out with and loves the most. Who got him elected? So obvious.
(2-26-2019)
*
Trump, Kim slept in bunk beds at Summit.
(2-26-2019)
*
The President asks staff to start a crowdfunding campaign for innocent embattled friend, Robert Kraft.
(2-24-2019)
*
After the president is ousted from office, I suggest a National Holiday with CROWDS THE LIKES OF WHICH THE WORLD HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE.
(2-24-2019)
*
Dear Don: Think of how many peoples' lives you've ruined: Family, friends, Americans, Citizens of the World. They gave up their lives for you because they fell for what a complete fraud you are (many did not fall for it, they had no choice but to suffer, i.e. refugees and immigrants). But now it gets personal. You won't be satisfied until the ruination of Humanity and The Earth is complete. You are a serial narcissistic lunatic and infinite embarrassment. Republicans: You are Godless, spineless, gutless, enabling greedy traitors to your Country.
(2-24-2019)
*
Sarah Sanders has given rise to a new style of public speaking: Genericism: nearly fact-free communication; expressing generic information with little or no meaning for the express purpose of lying or misleading, or solely to waste listeners' time.
(2-22-2019)
*
Now for some powerfully good news: Nikole Hannah-Jones, Investigative Reporter with the New York Times Magazine, co-founder of the Ida B. Wells Society for Investigative Reporting, MacArthur Genius Grant Winner.
(2-20-2019)
*
You sowed, you reaped, YOU Sleazy, Slimy, Traitor Trump. P.S. Regarding white supremacists and their ilk, there are NOT "Very fine people on both sides."
(2-20-2019)
*DONALD JOHN TRUMP stars as The Botchfather: "He alone can't fix shit."
(2-20-2019)
*
"Union of Soviet SOCIALIST Republics: it's Putin's dream to return to that era, and he's T-rump's best friend. It's colluding with a SOCIALIST regime, I tell ya!" ~ Overheard at the gym.
(2-20-2019)
*Brandi Carlile you have saved the day.
"Carlile wrote this song to reject today's sociopolitical climate since the 2016 US presidential election, telling NPR that 'there are so many people feeling misrepresented. So many people feeling unloved. The song is just for people that feel under-represented, unloved or illegal.' *The song was awarded with a GRAMMY for Best American Roots Song at the 2019 GRAMMY Awards." (from https://genius.com/Brandi-carlile-the-joke-lyrics)
(2-14-2019)
*
Donald J. Trump lies because he can, on purpose. Goal: Inflict as much pain on as many people as possible. He gets off on it like serial-lying sadomasochistic narcissists do. As was said about G.W. Bush: "Mission Accomplished."
(2-14-2019)
*
Wanting to appear macho as possible to feed his unrelenting and mean-spirited narcissism, Trump adopts nickname "El Chapo" since the fallen drug lord "no longer needs it."
(2-13-2019)
*
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, "AOC", Democratic Member of the U.S. House of Representatives
from New York's 14th district.
(2-10-2019)
*
I include two Bill Maher Real Time posts from last night because it's just that drop-dead timely to do so: Everything in a nutshell. If you watch one short video today, let it be this one.
(2-9-2019)
*
Clock-Cleaner: Bill Maher Breaks Down Why Republicans Are "The Problem."
"Both parties are not extreme," the Real Time host said.
(2-9-2019)
*Trump said: "If there is going to be peace and legislation, there cannot be war and investigation. It just doesn't work that way." Translation: "Knick-knack paddywhack,
give the dog a bone, this old man came rolling home."
(2-9-2019)
*
Share-A-Meme
(2-7-2019)
*
The President now realizes it's no longer "Little Adam Schitt" as he had once Tweeted, but rather, "ADAM SCHIFF's gonna take one YUGE SCHITT on you, Donald!"
(2-6-2019)
*
Since Republicans insist on rebranding us The "Democrat" Party and "Democrat" Members of Congress, etc., I am rebranding them The "Ref**klican't" Party. It could have been so much worse.
(2-6-2019)
*Alexandria Octavio-Cortez and her Democratic Socialist cohorts are the way up and out of this American Nightmare. It's as simple as this: Do you want to prosper or perish?
(2-6-2019)
*
Stacey Abrams is remarkable as she "rips Trump in Democratic response to the State of the Union address." Stacey Abrams: "Together, We Are Coming For America, For A Better America."
(2-6-2019)
*
Are these bad omens? World War III Channel debuts; new generation of Navajo Code Talkers being trained.
(2-1-2019)
*
Why can't Donald's best friend Putin build him the damn WALL? He's richer than Bezos. What a reelection gesture that would be.
(2-1-2019)
*
A clueless multifaceted DUNCE, CLIMATE-DUNCE-TRUMP is one spectacular no-brainer.
(1-30-2019)
*
Trump looks into the mirror and pronounces: "I will be the first President to ever preside over World War III! I can't wait! It will free me from EVERYTHING and make me President for my 2nd term!!"
(1-30-2019)
*
Lest we forget, the President coined himself "a very stable genius." What a sense of security that brings: the mark of a true dictator.
(1-29-2019)
*
Dear Mr. Billionaire Howard Schultz: I am done funding your Trump-Loving Independent Presidential Campaign. No more $tarbuck$ for me.
(1-29-2019)
*
(1-27-2019)
*
A predawn FBI raid on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue would be a thousand Christmases come early.
(1-27-2019)
*
President rushed to hospital for severely battered testicles.
(1-25-2019)
*
New desk placard honoring Donald J. Trump: "The CAVE starts here."
(1-25-2019)
*
That's rich: an American dictator demanding a Venezuelan dictator resign!
(1-24-2019)
*Share-A-Meme
(1-24-2019)
*
The Wall is nothing more than a trumpian phallic symbol.
(1-24-2019)
*
"President Donald J. Ebola" has a nice ring to it.
(1-24-2019)
*
Mitch McConnell is a poor excuse for an excuse.
(1-24-2019)
*
Pelosi turns tables, grabs trump by his pussy.
(1-24-2019)
*
All trump wants is to become a "made guy."
(1-24-2019)
*
Godfather soundtrack heard wafting through White House.
(1-24-2019)
*
It doesn't get any cuter! Rudy writes his own epitaph: "I am afraid it will be on my gravestone. 'Rudy Giuliani: He lied for Trump.' "
(1-23-2019)
*
Next on the agenda: Border Wall Canada
(1-23-2019)
*
Donald J.ackass Trump is achieving all he's ever wanted: ATTENTION at any cost.
(1-23-2019)
*
Mike and Karen Pence are privately giddy about the shutdown because a lot more Evangelical babies could be conceived.
(1-23-2019)
*
The antidote: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
(1-22-2019)
*
M. L. K.
(1-21-2019)
*
Gimme a hamberder with a cuppa' smocking hot covfefe. I'd be honered and I wouldn't chock.
(1-20-2019)
*
"Mr. Art of the Deal" himself doesn't know the difference between a "done" deal and a "dud" deal.
(1-20-2019)
*
To all my creditors: Mexico will pay for it.
(1-20-2019)
*
Mueller to BuzzFeed: "Cancel that mead!"
(1-19-2019)
*
#45 hands out rolls of paper towels to starving government workers.
(1-19-2019)
*
(1-18-2019)
*
I suddenly envision an orange-headed Nixonian figure waving wildly with both arms as he boards a military helicopter for the last time, on his way to prison.
(1-18-2019)
*
Dear Dingleberry Donald: Ya ever tried walling off a raging river like The Rio Grande?
That'd be like YOU suddenly not being the world's meanest, dumbest, most narcissistic, psychopathic prick.
(12-30-2018)
*
Li'l Donny, it's finally come down to this: "I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."
(12-29-2018)
*
Consider it solved! The TRUMP PowerWALL Lottery: $1 per ticket. Pick 15 correct numbers out of 1000. Drawings on the hour. Some proceeds will fund The Border Wall.
(12-29-2018)
*
Donald, have you no sense of taste? The wall needs to be made out of diamond-encrusted gold. Let's make a statement here!
(12-29-2018)
*
Hurry!! Send your thoughts and prayers for the next calamity.
(12-28-2018)
*The Swampy President and his Slimy Republicans: A great band name!
(12-28-2018)
*
Smoothe move "Ex-Lax Donald!" Iraqi lawmakers demand withdrawal of U.S. Troops after insulting Trump visit.
(12-28-2018)
*
Trump claims Mexicans are selling tamales countrywide to raise money for the wall.
(12-28-2018)
*
Don's border wall is 100% phallic, 0% effective.
(12-28-2018)
*
Hey Don, Former US Army Gen. Barry McCaffrey (extremely bigly decorated) is giving you very low marks for your Iraqi soiree. Let's just call it an F-.
(12-28-2018)
*
Iraqi Trumpstorm: Lied about Troops' pay raise; Exposed faces and location of Navy Seals on Twitter; Signed MAGA hats; Violated Iraq's sovereignty; Met no Iraqi officials; Made the entire visit a political rally about himself.
(12-28-2018)
*
BREAKING NEWS: Leaked x-rays show tangle of bone spurs in President's head.
(12-27-2018)
*
Fake President. Fake American. Fake Patriot. Fakin' it till he breaks it.
(12-27-2018)
*
Don, Iraq sure looks good on you! And if there had been a terrorist attack in your proximity, you'd have handled it just like you said you'd have handled the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooter in Parkland: with your bare hands.
(12-27-2018)
*
A certain White House megalomaniac's days are severely numbered.
(12-26-2018)
*
The more people #45 gets rid of, the closer he gets to his ultimate goal: No one left but HIM.
(12-26-2018)
*
Ding ding ding! Give the President exactly what he wants: a 50-foot-high steel slatted fence around The White House border.
(12-25-2018)
*
On this Christmas 2018, let us pause and give thanks that we have the greatest President the likes of which the world has never seen before. I am humbly reminded of this by his remarkable Hall Of Great Orators quotation: "I always try to tell the truth when I can!"
(12-25-2018)
*
You bragged, "I alone can fix it." Oh, you've fixed it all right, buddy-boy!
(12-24-2018)
*
Guess who putts golf balls all over the White House naked?
(12-24-2018)
*
All I want for Christmas is coming to The House on January 3rd, 2019.
(12-24-2018)
*
45 is APE: A Pathetic Embarrassment
(12-24-2018)
*
What Shutdown? Trump zips to Mar-a-Lago in secret tunnel on mega-speed rail built by Elon Musk. Code name: "El Chapo Express"
(12-23-2018)
*
President #45: Friend to dictators and terrorists alike. No collusion though.
(12-22-2018)
* Donald John Trump:
"The ME, MYSELF and I President"
(12-22-2018)
*
Thanks to Don The Destroyer, lots of folks are licking their chops, but they aren't in America.
(12-22-2018)
*
Simultaneously pulling out of the Middle East, Mattis abruptly resigning, and, shutting down the government vastly improves USA crudabullity.
(12-22-2018)
*
"Tom, STOP scanning the skies for mushroom clouds for Christ's sake!"
(12-22-2018)
*
Fuming President: "DONNY DO IT!!"
(12-22-2018)
*
Sarah Sanders' kids asked her if Santa Claus was real. She answered, "No, of course not!" The kids were very relieved, one saying: "Thank God she never tells the truth!!"
(12-21-2018)
*
Mexico keeps checking on Trump's butt. They said they'd pay for a wall only when monkeys flew out of it.
(12-21-2018)
*
"Predator Priests, turn yourselves in!" ~ Pope Francis
"All bump stocks must be turned in or destroyed!" ~ The Department Of Justice
"President Trump must stop all lying, confess all criminal activity, and turn himself in!"
~ At the sole Discretion of The White House Press Secretary
(12-21-2018)
*
STEPHEN MILLER for Secretary of Defense: He has THE MEATS!
(12-21-2018)
*
DONALD J. T-RUMP: "THE GLOBAL EBOLA"
(12-20-2018)
*
The President rates himself "an A+." Totally agreed if the "A" stands for "Asshole."
(12-20-2018)
*
I'm like so totally sick of glaciers anyway.
(12-20-2018)
*
Save The Swamps! Drain The Trump.
(12-17-2018)
*
Musk has plan to capture Mars, pulling it staggeringly close to Earth for easier access.
(12-19-2018)
*
Where there's smock, there's fyre.
(12-19-2018)
*
The NRA: "Priding ourselves in not holding a gun to even one lobbyist's head for taking mega-millions in the name of The Second Amendment."
(12-19-2018)
*"Elizabeth Warren for President!"
I've been listening to this brilliant woman for years. Update: don't sacrifice her as President. She's The People's Champ and can do more as a Senator.
*
President Obama, you have it all. You totally deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.
You have the power to make enormous change we can all believe in. It is
up to you to use the power that we gave you and to lead us with abandon.
The time to act boldly and resolutely is now. I am, and always will be rooting
you on, Sir. --Gratefully, Grant Brad Gerver
(10-12-2009)
*
The only thing Republicans have got going for them is a sincere desire
to continue the distruction of their own Country. They're all figurative suicide bombers
at heart: USA Failure = Love.
(10-12-2009)
*
Seeing indicted Tom DeLay dance with that cute little GOP elephant on his back
and his Hammer-ass waving in my face is enough to make me question how long
my HDTV will survive before I riddle it with bullets. Then again, I suppose
he's dedicating his performance to Terri Schiavo (and, I don't own a gun).
(10-6-2009)
*
Letterman, Jon & Kate, Polanski, Dancing Tom, and entertainment baby bumps galore: And we're worried
about the small stuff like the economy, jobs, foreclosures, satanic banks, health care, H1R1 ("R" is for Republican),
Afghanistan-Iraq, Iran, China, North Korea, Global Warming...? Priorities, people!
(Thanks to Mike S. for the "H1R1" idea.)(10-6-2009)
*
Letterman to debut "Stupid Sex Tricks."
(10-6-2009)
*
The Republicans are gloating over their new hard-won victory for
The American People: No Olympics in Chicago.
(10-6-2009)
*
A new Arizona bar opens tonight: The Drunken Gun
(10-2-2009)
*
We already have the public option, for crying out loud: I get sick, I go to the
ER and you pay for it.
(10-2-2009)
*If Bill Clinton had done what David Letterman just did, perhaps we might not be in the mess we're in right now.
Think about it (as in "Yes, I did have sexual relations with that woman" = maybe no Clinton impeachment, Gore wins by a landslide, maybe 9/11 hijackers would have been thwarted, no Iraq war, maybe no economic collapse, a powerful Katrina
response, real Global Warming progress, and the list goes on and on...).
(10-2-2009)
*
I will refuse any government health care handout. When you've got your pride,
you've got everything.
(9-30-2009)
*
And on the Eighth Day, God killed the economy.
(9-30-2009)
*
Quit blaming Bush and the Republicans for everything, okay?
It would have happened all by itself anyway, just like Global Warming
and Creation. It's a cycle unaffected by feeble Mankind.
(9-30-2009)
*
Agency for United States
Traumatization Enabled by Republican Economics
(9-25-2009)
*
Terrible money news: the Fed's main currency printer has exploded from overuse. You are asked to send repair donations
ASAP.
(9-25-2009)
*
I know, I know: Doom-and-gloom is getting old. It's all you hear and read about.
But lighten up, America: It was one helluva a great ride.
(9-25-2009)
*
Things are so bad, Halliburton has been forced to adopt the multi-level-marketing
business model.
(9-25-2009)
*
White House lays off cooking, housekeeping and groundskeeping staffs to set example for Americans.
(9-25-2009)
*
Reaching across the aisle to Republicans is like trying to persuade Ahmadinejad that the Holocaust really did happen.
(9-24-2009)
*
Those same pesky Republicans who have caused the entire Country and Globe to falter,
"The Grand RePLUNDERcans," have the audacity to blame Obama for doing the same thing.
When is SOMEBODY going to stand up to those completely perverted PR**KS?
I sure hope it's you, Mr. Obama.
(9-24-2009)
*"Those who insist on remaining above the fray are doomed to be defeated by it." --Me, 2009.
(9-24-2009)
*
Dear President Obama: It is high time to open up a can of Republican Whup-Ass.
No more Mr. Nice Guy.
(Thanks to Gene Lyons.) (9-24-2009)
*
Former Federal Reserve Chairman and top White House economic adviser Paul Volcker
gets it.
Will somebody please listen?
(9-24-2009)
*
The John Phillips/Mamas & The Papas' song "I Saw Her Again Last Night"
suddenly takes on a horrific new meaning.
(9-24-2009)
*
We've got so many issues to deal with here in America, I'm thinkin'
it's time to turn to more $piritual thing$.
(9-24-2009)
*
I've finally concluded that 99% of the American People simply don't deserve
prosperity.
(9-24-2009)
*
I am officially a pessimoptimist.
(9-24-2009)
*
I keep hearing the recession is over. But not for you and me, just
the fat cats. That is truly heartwarming.
(9-24-2009)
*
I've been pretty tough on President Obama lately, a man who I genuinely
admire and respect. The fact that he is possibly considering alternatives
for Afghanistan other than sending in tens of thousands more Troops is
more evidence for never giving up on him.
(9-23-2009)
*
When the going gets tough, the tough turn to football.
(9-23-2009)
*
Don't look now, but the sky actually IS falling.
(9-23-2009)
*
My retirement nest egg comes in 12-ounce cans.
(9-23-2009)
*
Basically, Republicans want to "NO" us into a third-world country.
(9-23-2009)
*
How about a "too little to fail" government bailout for "Everyday Americans?"
(9-18-2009)
*
The last thing we need in America is Socialism. You know, that
Commie-Pinko belief that we should share a little of the wealth and not be able
to buy, sell and hustle derivatives.
(9-18-2009)
*
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. So does having no health insurance.
(9-18-2009)
*
Republican health care reform would allot vouchers for hand sanitizer to qualifying families.
(9-18-2009)
*
Kanye West blames Taylor Swift outburst on bad crack.
(9-18-2009)
*
Joe Wilson blames Obama outburst on Tourette's.
(9-18-2009)
*
O'Reilly is backing the public option?! He must know it has no chance,
so what the fiznuck, throw the commoners a bone they'll never have a chance
in hell of realizing.
(9-18-2009)
*
Editorial: "Change I Can't Believe In"
I honestly like President Obama very much. He is a thoughtful, extraordinarily brilliant
and compassionate person. But, he is trying to affect change
by conventional means in the totally corrupt political culture of Washington
and well beyond. It ends up giving away more of OUR hard-earned loot to the very
same morally bankrupt crooks who screwed us all over in the first place;
health care that will only benefit the big insurance thugs, the end result being
more of the disgusting same. The President said early on he would see what worked and
what didn't, and would be open to "do-overs" until he gets it right. Well, there's
not much right at this juncture. It is time to seize the day for the everyday common
American, Sir, while you still can. Enough "reaching across the aisle" to racist Republican
goon-sharks. What good have they ever done for you or any of us? You promised you'd bring our Troops
home, but now you want more of what Bush got in Iraq, in Afghanistan. While I obviously can't be privy to
all the details behind the scenes, I am sorely disappointed in this frivolous waste of human life and
precious resources. Friends of mine have said "Be patient, he hasn't been President for very long. Give it
time." Well, I wish we could afford that. We can not. If you don't bring on true change soon, we'll have
more cancerous Republicans and Democrats monkey-wrenching and stealing what little is left of the American Dream from
WE, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. Respectfully, Grant Brad Gerver
(9-16-2009)
*
"Change" watered-down is no change at all. It is not only mortally diluted,
it is mortally deluded.
(9-16-2009)
*
Basically, what it boils down to is this: change on all fronts is fine so long as it
benefits the growing-bigger-than-ever gargantuan corporations and their elite.
Change on their terms is just fine with them, thank you very much.
(9-16-2009)
*
The Tea Party Express is aiming for a billion-person turnout. Thanks to Photoshop,
I'm sure they'll get it.
(9-16-2009)
*
Change we can believe in? The fat cats get fatter while we mere ferals
are relegted to dumpster-diving.
(9-16-2009)
*"Too big to fail" means the Whole Country fails instead. Who the hell is lobbying for YOU and ME?
(9-14-2009)
*
The Twin Towers are still collapsing...only this time they're in the form
of the economy, health care and the GOP.
(9-11-2009)
*
Dick Cheney will spend the day quietly reflecting on things while shooting assorted friends in the face.
(9-11-2009)
*
Palin's new clothing line debuts today: The SarahWear® Fur Collection available
only at Neiman Marcus.
(9-11-2009)
*
Need to puke some more? Just read this.
(9-11-2009)
*
ReDpubEliAcansD
(9-10-2009)
*
Health care reform is pro-life.
(9-10-2009)
*
Rep. Joe Wilson is the proud new face of the GOP.
(9-10-2009)
*
Health care is taking a distant back seat to wealth care.
(9-10-2009)
*
The biggest risk in giving decent affordable health care to all Americans is that
they might think they're entitled to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
It could get ugly.
(9-10-2009)
*
We're all starring in "Brokeback Mountain of Debt."
(9-10-2009)
*
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. But he won't be coming this year.
(9-10-2009)
*
Capitalism has failed because the Market wasn't allowed to let greedy bastard corporations
fail.
(9-4-2009)
*
Tea Party logic: "My Constitutional right to have little or no health insurance ends at
socialized health care."
(9-4-2009)
*
If you outlaw lobbying, only outlaws will have lobbyists.
(9-4-2009)
*
"Greedconomics" just doesn't work anymore.
(9-4-2009)
*
Take the Tea Party and throw it into Boston Harbor.
(9-4-2009)
*
If every American has health care, wouldn't that make us too healthy?
(9-4-2009)
*
H. L. Mencken: 㔨ere is always an easy solution to every human problem 砮eat, plausible and wrong.伢r />
Paul Krugman: "How did economists get it so wrong?"
(9-3-2009)
*
Republicans and Conservatism have just been rated above nuclear waste, tobacco,
alcohol, illegal drugs, pesticides, fast food and obesity as the worst hazards to your health.
(9-2-2009)
*
Republicans want nothing more than nothing to change.
Yeah, that's a healthy alternative.
(9-2-2009)
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Central.com, Inc.
Left-wing Political Humor site maintained by Grant "Brad" Gerver.
Copyright 2019 by Grant William Brad Gerver. All
Rights Reserved. The content of this political humor site is owned
exclusively by
Grant "Brad" Gerver of SeriousKidding.com. Reproduction of
political verses, bumper stickers, or any other content is expressly
prohibited unless prior permission is granted.
(3-18-2019)
(2-10-2019)
