* The President comes out swingin': "We shall win the war on terror and convert the world to Christianity in the process." (8-31-06)
* The Bush Administration: "Creating War for You and Me" (8-31-06)
* bloodshit: engaging in bloodshed for bullshit reasons: Through disgraceful leadership, the US is mired in unspeakable bloodshit. (8-31-06)
* Ladies and gentlement, allow me to introduce our Secretary of Defense, Donazi Rumsfeld (8-31-06)
* Care for a side of Islamic Fascism with that hubris, Mr. President? (8-31-06)
* The Bush Administration: "Always at the ready to justify every debacle in hindsight" (8-31-06)
* Rumsfeld actually thinks he's re-fighting WWII. (8-31-06)
* Bush, Cheney, Rove, Rumsfeld, and Rice are... The RePONZIcans! (8-31-06)
* Dear Secretary Rumsfeld: call me morally and intellectually confused, but I think you're a terrorist-making factory, Jack. (8-30-06)
* Happy Anniversary on your continuing Katrina Fiasco, Mr. President. (8-29-06)
* President Bush will particiapte in the New Orleans "Heckuva Job, Brownie" Days Celebration by shoveling dirt onto a levee. Barbara Bush will be serving cake. (8-28-06)
* Haven't heard much from the Vice President lately: he must be up to his eyeballs reloading shells. (8-28-06)
I'll be back on Monday, August 28th. Thanks for reading, folks. -grant
* Demoting Pluto to a Dwarf is just plain Goofy. (8-24-06)
* Out soon: "Defending SATAN: My Unending Adoration for President George W. Bush~A Love Story" by Harriet Miers, published by Dumblican Books (8-23-06)
* George "The Armageddonizer" Bush is Lord of the Rapturepublicans (8-23-06)
* His Lowness, Emporer Bush: "If we withdraw before the job is done, the enemy will follow us here." First of all, YOU are the enemy, and you're already here. Second, what job are you referring to: the complete annihilation of Iraq and the Middle East? Seems like that job is done. (8-23-06)
* The only difference between George W. Bush and Osama Bin Laden: height. (8-22-06)
* The new White House Imperialist Strategy: "We keep defending every f***up until we actually believe we've done nothing wrong and everything right, as God intended." (8-22-06)
* When President Bush and his entourage fly on Air Force One, I prefer to call them "Snakes on a Plane." (8-21-06)
* VOTE
Joe Lieberman
~ Evanjewlical Demopublican for Congress (8-20-06)
* I'm mad as hell and movin' to Crawford. (8-20-06)
* The Neocon credo: "We stand behind the President Wrong or Wrong." (8-19-06)
* Young Republican Nimrods for Bush (8-19-06)
* Muslims just don't get it: we give them democracy and they elect terrorists. What part of nation-building don't they understand? (8-19-06)
* Imperialism means never having to say you're sorry. (8-19-06)
* A boon to Hippies: new airline security measure forces female passengers to fly braless (8-19-06)
* Bush = HIV: He Incites Violence (8-19-06)
* How in the hell can we feel safer when the whole world hates us? That's feeling safer? (8-19-06)
* It's so weird: the people of the Mideast are speaking democratically, and it's all about hating the US and Israel. Chaos Accomplished. (8-19-06)
* The President weighs in on the Pluto-planet furor: "He's my favorite Disney character!" (8-19-06)
* The President on a Harley? What an insult to badass biker-dudes everywhere. (8-18-06)
* Fly Naked (8-18-06)
* George W. Bush: intellectual he ain't. (8-18-06)
* Joe Lieberman is Dick Cheney in sheep's clothing. (8-18-06)
* George W. Bush: "The Great American Root Canal" (Many thanks to Spike Gerver.) (8-18-06)
* Outraged by a federal judge's ruling banning warrantless wiretapping, the President, citing "Liberal Activist Judge Executive Privilege," vows to disregard it. (8-17-06)
* I've never felt more unsafe. BOOYAH! (8-17-06)
* I live on the edge: I snuck a tube of lip balm on an airplane. (8-17-06)
* Homeland Security mandates that all Americans must feel safer, or they'll be put on surveillance. (8-17-06)
* Bush & Israel say Israel won. Iran & Syria say Hezbollah won: WE'RE GOIN' INTO OVERTIME! (8-16-06)
* Not knowing his mic was on, the President proclaims, "This imperialism and nation-building thing's a big fat Texas bitch!" (8-16-06)
* Another "Legacy" moment: President Ignoramus acknowledges the War on Terror will go on for years (thanks to him). (8-16-06)
* Suddenly, there's talk about the threat of a global water shortage looming, even here in the US. How can that be? We'll just make more. DUH. (8-16-06)
* EXTRA! EXTRA! President George W. Bush ends Middle East War; greeted as liberator; rose petals strewn at feet upon entering White House (8-15-06)
* Britain, US lower threat level to "EXTREMELY HORRENDOUS" (8-15-06)
* Bush officially declares Israel the winner. That oughta' calm Mideast waters. (8-15-06)
* George W. Bush: "The Oy Vey President" (8-15-06)
* Airline officials concede the only safe way to fly is with anesthetized passengers (8-12-06)
* Real bad news: "Terrorism for Dummies" is published. (8-12-06)
* Oh my God, I hope no terrorists are reading this, but what if they were to ingest explosives, board the plane, and then jump up and down mid-flight?! (8-12-06)
* That is so rich, Bush calling terrorists "Islamic Fascists." First of all, he doesn't even know what it means (most Islamic peoples are neither fascists NOR terrorists), and second, he's a complete "Christian Fascist," himself. (8-12-06)
* George W. Bush: "Freedoms' Abortionist" (8-12-06)
* Build it and they will come: that's pretty much the story in Iraq. Bush and Cheney built "Ground Zero" for terrorists, and boy, have they come. (8-12-06)
* The words on every American's lips: "WHY FLY?" (8-11-06)
* At the risk of seeming draconian, Homeland Security foists same rules for air travel on drivers (8-11-06)
* George Bush blamed for middle-finger arthritis epidemic (8-11-06)
* President Hans Christian Andersen says, "This country is safer than it was prior to 9/11." Now that's one hell of a fairy tale. (8-11-06)
* Suddenly, Cheney and Rove are slobbering all over Joe Lieberman. I smell Iraq a rat. (8-11-06)
* George W. Bush: "The Great Inciter" (8-11-06)
* Airline carriers hand out gum instead of sodas; stewardesses cheer new move (8-11-06)
* Airline passengers fear dehydration (8-11-06)
* The new cottage industry: fluid-less toothpaste, sunscreen, hand lotion, and water (8-11-06)
* "Securidoxical": bolstering and multiplying the very enemy you're trying to conquer, sacrificing security and safety along the way: George Bush's Global War on Terror is extremely securidoxical. (8-11-06)
* It all boils down to this: The Bushlamics vs. The Islamics (8-11-06)
* You know he's thinkin' it: "Oh Goody! More terrorist plots to take everyone's attention off me, the polls, Iraq, the Middle East, Katrina, my rich oil buddies... everybody's scared shitless! I love it! Hell, I can stay in Crawford at least a month!" (8-11-06)
* Giving up all my carry-on fluids makes me feel safer than a babe in the womb. (8-11-06)
* TSA WARNING #1: All airline passengers must now be quarantined at an authorized airport holding facility 24 hours before their flight. Enjoy your trip. (8-10-06)
* TSA WARNING #2: All airline passengers must travel in a swimsuit only. Checked baggage and carry-on items will no longer be permitted: just you and a swimsuit. Enjoy your flight. (8-10-06)
* Pray for Global Cooling (8-10-06)
* "TAOorrism": the Zen of nation-building. (8-10-06)
* Today's weather: cloudy with a 100% chance of violence. (8-10-06)
* Contractors of the world: Lebanon has killer deals on crushed rock. (8-9-06)
* Hey, Floyd Landis, help us out: can you spare the Democratic Party a gallon or two of testosterone? They're gonna need it. (8-9-06)
* Calling all affected Texans: WRITE-IN TOM DELAY! (8-9-06)
* I'll tell ya what's NOT FAIR: Tom DeLay is forced to remain ON the ballot while his good friend, Bob Ney, is forced to take himself OFF the ballot. Oh, the humanity of it all! (8-8-06)
* "NEYsayers United for a Corrupt Government" (8-8-06)
* The Middle East: a rose-petal-cakewalk-last-throes extravaganza! (8-8-06)
* Bush is 2-for-2 and batting a 1000: civil war in Iraq, and possibly Lebanon. That ole "Mission Accomplished" thing keeps coming back like acid reflux. (8-8-06)
* I wonder if the Bush's took their new neighbor, Cindy Sheehan, some "welcome vittles?" (8-7-06)
* Okay, I won't blame Bush for the Middle East meltdown. But, I will give him all the credit for it. How's that for a "spinjob?" (8-6-06)
* Bush's Democratic poodle, Joe Lieberman, seems to be going down in flames. Just chalk it up to Connecticut sectarian voter violence. (8-5-06)
* If Rumsfeld resigns, Bush will pick Ahmad Chalabi to be his successor. (8-5-06)
* Hoping to atone for his anti-Semitic sins, Mel Gibson joins the Kinky Friedman campaign. (8-5-06)
* The Bush administration: what a horrific "Fecalamity." (8-5-06)
* Cheney's "last throes" have intelligently designed themselves into civil war, it would most likely be a mild one. (8-5-06)
* Rumsfeld assures Congress that although there may be civil war, it would most likely be a mild one. (8-4-06)
* Support Our Whipping the Middle East into a Frenzy (8-4-06)
* "Violent Islamic Extremists for Rumsfeld" gleefully thanks the Secretary for its ever-increasing success: "We could never have done it without your consistent arrogant ignorance." (with an assist from Spike Gerver) (8-3-06)
* Bush's Cent Comm generals and the British Ambassador to Iraq even admit a civil war is looming. So, Rove spins it: "MISSION IRAQI CIVIL WAR ACCOMPLISHED!" (8-3-06)
* How long till we start seeing this: World War III Veteran (8-3-06)
* "I'm dreaming of a white Cuban-cigar Christmas..." (8-3-06)
* Doctors still unable to locate Bush's brain during annual physical: "It's there somewhere," states befuddled physician. "Maybe we're just not looking in the right place." (8-2-06)
* Bush's doctors say he's fit as a fiddle and ready to lead America right into The Rapture. (8-2-06)
* George, Iraqi President Talabani is showing you the door. Are you man enough to take it? (Dumb question.) (8-2-06)
* "No Munchie Left Behind" Diplomacy: desperate for a breakthrough, Rove and Limbaugh press Bush to offer all Middle Easterners free marijuana. (8-2-06)
* Condoleezza unveils the new White House Middle East Peace Plan: "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?" (8-1-06)
* The Democrats unite to urge Bush to begin withdrawing troops this year. Testosterone injections have obviously done the trick. (8-1-06)
* You can't blame Big Oil for rising gas prices any more than you can blame Philip Morris for smoking, Halliburton for flagrant no-bid contracts, or Bush for Iraq. (8-1-06) |
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