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* Did you see that new study on stress? Oh great, one more thing to worry about. (11-30)
* I'm afraid that enriched "Iranium" crisis isn't going away anytime soon (11-30)
* If medical marijuana is legalized, what's next? Alcohol, tobacco, caffeine?!!!!!!!!
Oops, my mistake. (11-29)
* "Gayssachusetts"- Right-Wing, Anti-Gay Zealots Let One Slip Away Back East (11-29)
* Justice "DeLayed" is justice denied (11-29)
* So, the Bush Administration is aghast at Ukraine's vote-rigged election, aye?
Ain't that the grandest of ironies? The pot has called the kettle black. (11-29)
* The lonesome call of the Yiddish cowboy:
"Yippee-Yi-Yo-Ki-Yay-Oy-Vey!" (11-25)
* The Ukraine Election: "Putin" the "Cold" back into Cold War (11-25)
* www.makeyourownfluvaccine.com (11-25)
* Alaska's new State Tourism motto: "Come Visit Before We Melt" (11-25)
* "People for the Ethical Treatment of Turkeys" wishes you a very Happy Thanksgiving (11-24)
* I'm an EvoCreationist: God created apes so they could evolve into humans (11-23)
* The United Bipolar States of America (11-21)
* NBA telecasts must now carry R rating; fans must be 18 to attend games. (11-20)
* NBA brawl finally gives fans something interesting to watch.
Without the NHL, ya just gotta have some wanton violence. (11-20)
* Sporting event ticket holders urged to get "Spectator Protection Insurance"
which will be conveniently sold at all arenas & stadiums. (11-20)
* Arafat's official cause of death released:
"Israelihatredosis leading to a boiling of the blood" (11-20)
* Doesn't the Clinton Library make you crave another juicy little lurid Oval Office scandal?
Ah, for the good ole days. (11-19)
* An ominous sign in the meat case: "All beef 90% off until further notice" (11-19)
* Mad cow variant: Mad Spy Disease said to be running rampant at the CIA. (11-18)
* Monday Night Football: "Are you ready for some SLEAZEBALL?" (11-18)
* A match made in heaven: "Dr. Condoleezza Rice, meet Mr. Terrell Owens..." (11-17)
* It's finally happened: Wal*Crosoft (11-17)
* Would it not be more efficient to officially declare Earth a democracy, and be done with it? (11-15)
* OSAMALOL® has become the terrorist anxiety drug of choice (11-13)
* We get to vote in the Iraqi election, don't we? (11-15)
* Peace between Israel and the Palestinians has about as good a chance
as the Red Sox winning the World Series. Wait, they DID win the Series! (11-14)
* Okay, your vote may have been changed. But, at least it was counted.
What part of "Bush Reelected" don't you understand? (11-13)
* Thou Shalt Not Cross the Religious Right (11-13)
* "IRAQESTINE!" U.S. and Britain insist Iraq house new Palestinian State:
"It's a total friggin' mess anyway," admit Blair and Bush (11-12)
* It's truly the end of an "ERAfat" (11-11)
* I've had enough of this Global Warming paranoia. We could do with a few less species.
On the other hand, what if one 'em is us?! (11-11)
* Real reason Bush Administration is so anti-abortion: it compromises troop strength (11-10)
* Fluke of all flukes: Bush accidentally resigns! (11-10)
* Best career in Iraq: selling accidental death and dismemberment insurance (11-10)
* Hummer Hybrid boasts doubling mileage to 8 mpg (11-10)
* In the final analysis, it wasn't really moral values that swayed voters.
It was just an overload of facts by Democrats. (11-10)
* Arafat will be frozen next to Ted Williams (11-10)
* President appoints Zell Miller Moral Values Czar (11-10)
* Damned insurgents, they just won't stay put. (11-10)
* Agitated Democrats ponder changing name to
"MoralValueCratic Party" (11-9)
* The United States of Evangelica (God Bless the
U.S.E!) (11-5)
* Citizens for Greenhouse Gases: "A warmer globe, a richer America" (11-8)
* There's more to life than Nature. (circa 1994)
* Eternal Optimism:
Just 1455 days, 13 hours, 43 seconds until the next Presidential Election
Just 1534 days, 13 hours, 43 seconds until the end of Bush (11-6)
* Average Voter I.Q. plummets into double digits for first time in 40 years (11-6)
* Trying desperately to make sense of the "moral values" exit poll results,
Democrats can only hope it was a typo: maybe people answered, "Moron values." (11-6)
* Pray for the Separation of Church and State (circa 1994)
* Unfortunate mishap: President's arm broken attempting to "reach across the aisle." (11-5)
* Shrewd gay lawsuit could result in banning all heterosexual marriages (11-5)
* Dear President Bush: I'd like to take back all that crap I said about you, but it's hard work. (11-3)
* God bless frozen embryos (11-6)
* Proposed Constitutional Amendment would require membership
in a church or other Government-approved religious institution (11-5)
* Now, what if a gay man marries a gay woman? Does that work? (11-6)
* It is being reported that the War on Iraq has been declared an Official Moral Value. (11-4)
* President said to be pondering Cabinet positions for the twins (11-4)
* Like a fly on compost, Ralph Nader is appealing to disenfranchised Democrats
to join his newly formed NADERIAN Party (11-4)
* My God is better than your God (11/5)
* With the election behind it, the Government discontinues Threat Level Advisories (11-4)
* I wouldn't call it a "mandate." It was more like a
"halfdate." (11/4)
* 2nd-term agenda: Rise up out of very deep S_ _ _. (11-4)
* "We have less than 4 years to find the perfect candidate!"
DNC launches desperate search for Liberal Evangelical Christian Conservative Texan (11-4)
* FOUR MORE YEARS! (of great writing material) (11-4)
* Democrats trying "Springsteen in '08" on for size (11-3)
* Even though we lost the election, I promise not to whine. But, I sure am gonna bitch. (11-3)
* POLL THIS!!!
(11-3)
* Unfortunately, the demise of the Curse of the Bambino has spawned the Curse of the
Bushino. (11-3)
* Teenagers can be heard humming "O Can-a-da!" at malls across America
(11-3)
* Bin Laden caught casting absentee ballot
(11-2)
* Terrorists practice Hatriotism
(11-2)
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