September 11, 2001:
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AMERICA -- we're in a United State
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We will be okay: Long Live THE U.S.A.
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* The Mr. Rogers' Motto: "Just Befriend It."

* American Association of Storage Shed Collectors
"Guess where we keep 'em?!"

* Libyan Shark Farms Fuel Florida Attacks:
   Terrorists Drove Schools of Predators Toward U.S. Shores

* If you can hear a pin drop, you're a dog!

* President Bush: he's write for America

* Things are looking up: MINISKIRTS ARE BACK!!!

* "Home-A-CLONE" Reproductive Kit due out soon

* The Earth OWES us all the ENERGY we want. Period.

* George Bush declares War on the Environment: "It's a war we can win!"

* I drive a Global Warmer

* I was conceived during a rolling blackout

1. Politics are one big pain in the Ashcroft

2. Former President Clinton joins cast of Temptation Island

3. California: "We may not always have electricity, but at least we've got earthquakes."

4. "Cheese Machos"--razor blades with melted cheddar

5. What if we only ate good foods and took junk food supplements?

6. If we outlaw guns, what about the ensuing population explosion?

7. People don't damn rivers. Dams do.

8. The ill-prepared grasshopper should just eat the ants.

9. Ben Zuddah wins meditation crown

10. I wear an ALGEBRASSIERE^TM for pi-in-the-sky-comfort